she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
