Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
