dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
