I wish I could teleport
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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