I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
