She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize