There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
