Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
