please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Someone shattered a urinal.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
