That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
