everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
