I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
