I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He did a backflip because drugs
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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