im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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