I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
