I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
