Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
