she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
