Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
