Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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