I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
