he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
