Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
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rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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