Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
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And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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