I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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