so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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