we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
