I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
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Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
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He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
BRING THE BAGELS