Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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