Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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