the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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