I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
