i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
