I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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