so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
