Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
