Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
