All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
