You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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