I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize