I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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