3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think I am morally bankrupt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize