what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
