I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
