And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
