We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
