ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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