im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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