It's Friday. Sex?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
