my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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