Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
