Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
