I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize