I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
