no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
