He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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