belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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