flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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