last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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