I think my fart just growled at me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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