What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My penis needs a shock collar
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
