i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
