Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
