In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
