This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
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