Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
