Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My vagina is officially offended.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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