i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize