His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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